Eenie Meanie (dir. Shawn Simmons)

By: Adam Freed

The scars of youth are said to be deepest.  While self-inflicted blemishes may act as meaningful reminders that the tantalizing allure of life’s shortcuts are often met with disappointment, it is the sins of the father that are nearly impossible to escape. For Edie Meaney, the titular protagonist in writer and director Shawn Simmons’ Eenie Meanie, outrunning a childhood pocked by the insanity of a drug addicted home, was never an option.  Rather than succumbing to her lot in life, Edie rides a wave of ambiguous morality as she tiptoes the path of propriety while remaining surrounded by a tornado of undue influence.  Despite battling tonal confusion, and a naggingly inconsistent pace, Eenie Meanie is the rare dramatic action comedy whose peaks make sitting through its pronounced valleys a palatable endeavor.  Beyond an inescapable barrage of pace-numbing dramatic speechification, Simmons’ film offers a handful of undeniably exhilarating driving sequences punctuated by an impressively curated list of pulse-pounding rock anthems.

Eenie Meanie opens as a fourteen year-old Edie is unthinkably forced to slip behind the wheel of a car inoperable by her intoxicated parents.  In the hands of a lesser performer, the film’s prologue may have withered on the vine, and yet Elle Graham (Are you there God? It’s Me, Margaret, She Said) injects Edie’s childhood backstory with a necessary balance of pain and resilience.  The eventual transition to Edie’s adult depiction by star Samara Weaving (Ready or Not, Thee Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri) is far more compelling given the gravity of her youth.  Edie, a former getaway driver and perpetual disaster magnet, runs afoul of Cleveland based gangster Marco, captured humorously by Andy Garcia (Ocean’s Eleven, The Godfather III) thanks to a slew of poor decisions by John, her miscreant ex-boyfriend.  The relationship between John (Karl Glusman) and Edie becomes the centerpiece of Eenie Meanie, and ultimately its partial undoing.  Despite a serviceable chemistry between Weaving and Glusman, there is far too heavy a dramatic weight put on their interactions.  Director Shawn Simmons may have been better served to lean into the concept of his debut film as exclusively an action comedy because as it dips its toe into dramatic waters, it becomes noticeably out of its depth.  Thankfully, Eenie Meanie is blessed with moments of artistic clarity that cut through some of its dramatic monotony, offering a stark reminder of what the film may have become if armed with a more cohesive vision.  Shamefully brief appearances by radiant personalities Randall Park (WandaVision, Big Mouth) and Steve Zahn (Rescue Dawn, The White Lotus) go a long way to reinvigorate, but not save the wavering nature of Shawn Simmons’ Hulu streamer.

Target Score 5/10 - When it orbits closest to its true calling, that of a rock n’ roll infused burning rubber heist film, Eenie Meanie is an enjoyable and humorous watch.  The Hulu streamer tonally veers too far off course for stretches to earn a spot in the winner’s circle, yet offers just enough memorable moments to finish the race somewhere in the middle of the pack.