The Old Guard 2 (dir. Victoria Mahoney)
By: Adam Freed
Netflix released The Old Guard (2020) at the perfect time. In the heart of the global pandemic, the star-laden action adventure was a much needed reprieve from monotony of life in lockdown. The opportunity to spend a few hours with Charlize Theron in a globetrotting adventure felt like a much needed vacation that willfully overshadowed many of the film’s shortcomings. That was then, and those were different circumstances. Five years later, Netflix’s The Old Guard 2 offers none of the feel good escapism of the original. In its place, the global streaming giant presents an utterly forgettable quagmire of lifeless dialogue and uninspired action. The formula of throwing large sums of cash at recognizable screen performers and hoping for the best is once again at play for director Victoria Mahoney, a television director clearly out of her depth within the genre. The studio that followed this cynical playbook into producing brainrot such as Red Notice (2021) and Lift (2024) certainly haven’t learned a great deal from their past misdeeds.
One of the worst offenses The Old Guard 2 makes is taking what is an intriguing premise, a team of immortal do-gooders protecting the world, and turns it into lifeless melodrama. The streamer’s opening action sequence is compelling on its surface, but fails to set the hook of intrigue that is necessary in a film of this nature. Academy Award winner Charlize Theron (Monster, Mad Max: Fury Road) returns as Andy, thought to be one of Earth’s original immortals, and leader of the small collection of soldiers immune to harm. Also returning is Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years a Slave, The Life of Chuck), who this time around feels as if his character Copley was shoehorned into the film, rather than existing out of necessity. Perhaps the most egregious underuse of talent though comes from the addition of Uma Thurman (Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction) who poses as the film’s antagonist, yet clearly worked on the project for a small handful of days. Thurman plays Discord, yet another immortal, but one that has very clear designs on how she would like to employ the power that she, and others like her, possess. The pain in watching such gifted performers as Theron, Ejiofor and Thurman deliver emotionless and hollow dialogue against a bland CG backdrop is excruciating.
The Old Guard 2 doesn’t offer a resolution to its half hearted conflict, rather it just egomaniacally assumes audiences can’t wait to get a third film in a trilogy that mangled its second entry so egregiously. It isn’t fair to place all of the blame on director Victoria Mahoney, her recent credits include a few episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and a single entry of the NBC drama Suits LA. This is hardly the resume of a director prepared to elevate a large budget, star studded cast into franchise fame. The blame lies at the feet of Netflix whose global quest for profit margin dominance has done nothing to motivate them into adhering to a quality mindset. As the monthly subscription fees roll in and the inevitable price hikes continue, Netflix has very little concern over creating a quality product subject to the judgement of box office returns. The Old Guard 2 is evidence of a film studio that exists in the vacuum of consumer indifference. Audiences are best to avoid the big named allure of The Old Guard 2 in favor of indulging in some of summer’s other pleasures, a long slow walk, a good book, or even a nice afternoon nap.
Target Score 2.5/10 - Netflix has seemingly learned nothing from its past big budget action failures. Once again the streaming goliath strands legitimate acting talent with a lifeless script and a filmmaker that is woefully underprepared for the task. The result is the painfully inert The Old Guard 2.